The right and the not

It was his fault.
It was he who started everything.
Why should I worry? It was his fault anyway.
I was right. He was not.

I was not beautiful. I was not smart.
He was handsome. He was smart.
I didn’t love him. He loved me.

My feet ached as I walked over the coarse stones. I had to move faster. My destination was still far away, and I had very little time. The sun was bright.Heat radiated from the ground. I wiped sweat from my forhead, and walked faster.

Some siren sounded from distance. Maybe some train.
Trains.
I hate them. Their noise, their sirens, their sheer size.

He loved them. They were his passion. That’s why his dream job was in the railways.
The day he got it, he proposed to me.

I said no.

I asked him to be realistic.Neither of our families should’ve approved of our relationship, if there was any.
I was right. He was not.

He didn’t contact me for a long time since then.
I was never in love with him. He was, always.

Why did I ask him to save me?
From where did I need to be saved?

It was the day before my engagement.
He called me to wish me good luck.
I told him that I loved him. I lied.
I told him that I missed him. I did.
I asked him to save me.

He knew he was helpless by then. He told me he can’t do anything against his parents’ wishes. I knew that. Neither could I.
I called him a coward. He was not one. I was.
I disconnected the call.
He was crying. So was I.

The very next day, my fate was sealed – By this ring on my finger.

Three days.
For the next three days I didn’t hear from him. I thought he’d have moved on.

Three days.
It was three days since the accident when they finally found his body.

Accident!
I knew it was not one.

I didn’t cry. I couldn’t. He was no one to me.

His family, His parents.
For them he couldn’t save me.
He never thought of them while walking head-on to the train, to the noise he loved.

I reached my destination. Exhausted.
It was inside this tunnel that they found him. After three days. Shattered. Un recognizable.

I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
A siren sounded somewhere. I could hear the noise. Its not irritating as I used to think.

I wasn’t thinking about anything else. I wasn’t thinking about my marriage.
It was fixed for tomorrow. But I had my debts to pay.

I closed my eyes. I could feel him around me.
The noise became louder and louder. It was sweet.
He was right. I was not.?